#205 Do You Talk to Yourself?

Ageing

Many people have conversations with themselves. Sometimes in their heads but often out loud. Should you worry about it?

A Five Minute Read

Talking out loud to yourself on the street used to elicit worried stares. Today no one knows. Many people walk the streets talking into their smart phone. Are they actually talking to themselves? With headsets it is impossible to tell if there is anyone on the other end. That is useful for the 25% of people who self-talk out loud. Most people self- talk in some way. Most of the rest of us are rehearsing speech in our heads.

Types of Self-Talk

We engage in different types of self-talk. Sometimes we self-criticize. Rehearsing negative events and criticizing our own actions. Self-assessment rehearses social interactions and helps us interpret what is going on. We can reinforce positive events through self-reinforcement. Congratulating ourselves on things that went well. We can use self-management to rehearse what we need to do and the instructions that we need to follow. All are a natural part of organizing our thoughts and memories.

Self-talk is often triggered by ambiguity, anxiety and the unknown. It turns out that people who are due to make a speech in public will engage in self-talk more. They use self-talk to control their emotions. We control our anger or confusion. If a situation was unexpected, we will use self-talk to work through the meaning.

Why do some people prefer to do it out loud? Some of that is a habit. Many children talk outloud as they learn. As they age they internalize those conversations. Some do not. Only children are more prone to talk out loud. Especially if they have had an “imaginary friend”. People living alone will often talk out loud. Operationally there is little difference.

Self-Talk does help

There are lots of studies showing the power of self-talk for athletes. Those who are taught to verbalize instructions or motivation do better. There was a basketball study during a 10-week training camp. A third of the atheletes were told to recite out loud their instructions. “Move your fingers to target carefully”. Another third reinforced their motivation: “ I can..” The third group were a control group and told not to say anything.

The basketball trainees were tested before and after their ten weeks of sessions. They were tested on speed and accuracy in different ways. Those that had talked aloud were better on all tests. The instructional group did best. Motivational self-talk improved learning but not as much. The same kinds of approaches have been successful in other sports. In rowing, swimming, tennis, sprinting and golf.

The same effects have been shown with cognitive tasks. Respondents are asked to find a picture of a particular item from a large collection of images. One group is asked to say the name of the target item out loud whilst searching. Those that self-talked were significantly more successful at finding the item quickly. It appears that verbalizing allows them to focus more on the task and reduces any anxiety.

The Self-Talking Ageing

Older people will often self-talk and do it out loud. The reasons follow from their ageing. They have less inhibitions. If they live alone and are lonely, talking out loud helps. It creates human noise in an often silent world. Some have increased attention or memory problems. Verbalizing their tasks will help with focus. When we say we can’t remember something it is often because it was never in memory. Lack of attention at the very start of the memory process means that “encoding” cannot happen. Consider a typical social setting. We are introduced to someone new. Unfortunately, we did not pay enough attention to the name. Repeating the name out loud helps. It has benefits at any age but especially for the ageing.

Older individuals do have better emotional regulation. They can control their emotions better. Internal or external self-talk will assist in that process. Self-talking through a fraught situation allows us to cope and understand.

The Dark Side of Self-talking

Self-criticism can be healthy. Carried to extreme it can undermine. Self-Assessment and replaying social events can undermine self-confidence. A positive attitude to ageing is a powerful defense against illness and death. There are multiple studies showing that attitude is a key determinant of health and longevity. There is always a danger that self-talking can undermine the positivity. We all need to learn self-compassion. To be as compassionate to ourselves as we are to the other people in our lives. We need to challenge our negative thoughts. We must talk to ourselves about the positive things in our life.

Self-talking is normal and healthy if we stay away from the “dark side”. Excessive self-talking is not normal. Continuous, erratic and inconsistent self-talk may be a sign of something that is definitely not normal.

For those amongst my family who self-talk out loud. You know who you are. Happy Birthday.

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